I’m a Bad Reader

I like a thin book with quite large print so I can get through it quickly. This is because I am fickle with my choice of books. I tend to read more than one at a time, and this makes for slow reading, especially when some books are borrowed and I have to give them back in a couple of weeks to friends/libraries. If they’re too long and boring, I drop them.

I am also not a fast a reader as everyone else, I found in school. I wrote essays on Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist never having finished the novel (got an A though, I’d like to point out).

Too much prose turns me off as well. If you open a book and the first few pages are solid narrative until somebody says something. The best books have one paragraph, then dialogue. Even better is no paragraph, cut straight to the speech! I’d read a book comprised entirely of dialogue, I don’t know who’d want to read an entire narrative, not a word of speech (now I said that, I know it’s probably been done and probably quite well, but you’d have to be a really good writer to manage it and most people aren’t that good. I’m not, that’s why I stick to speech).

So when I write I tend to open with speech if I can. I like to include lots of talking and arguments and conversations (all the stuff of good, immediate writing) because it breaks up the prose. I like to write things that are not too long (in truth I have never written anything near a novel, so I don’t have this option). My font size is always too big (it looks smaller on a computer).

If you never reach the end of something I write, you are the worst reader who ever lived, because the other worst reader (me) wrote it.

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